My 32 rules!
By Julie - lundi, mars 16, 2015
For my 32th birthday i wanted to share with you 32 nuggets of wisdom i've learned along the way.
They may sounds obvious, but i assure you, they're truly help to lead a happy and healthy life!
1) Only you know your truth :
Who cares if you're 27 and didn't have find out your true calling in life yet? Who cares if you 35 and still single? 40, married but childless? Who cares if you 45 and just started a random new job?
Refuse to play the game of the 'Socially Acceptable VS Losers'
It's not like if you're not in one team, you are in the other.
If you are where you are right now, it's because you have dared to make choices for yourself.
Maybe it would have been easier to marry the guy you were dated when you where 19, maybe it would have been easier to keep your 9-5 who made you miserable day after day and maybe, just maybe, it would have been simplier to just go for something obvious, like everyone else around you.
But deap down, you knew. It just wasn't feel right. Try to always listen to that little voice in the back of your head/ your instinct/your guts/God's voice, call it as you wish but LISTEN to this and never, never, EVER what other people (family, friends, collegues,...) are thinking it's necessary for you to do with your life.
2) Your life, your rules :
After graduation, you took 6 months off to travel around Argentina, then you change your major 3 times in 4 years before dropping off school totally to start a new job in a start up with friends but of course, you didn't became a millionaire (would have been to easy!) then you did get back on your feet by selling handmade jewelry on Etsy while sleeping in your teenage room at your parents house. Not long after after, you did get a corporate job in Denver and move across the country alone. You did get a dog and you met a guy. Five years later, he proposed and you said yes. You were beyond elated and excited but then, you broke up. You became single for two years and meanwhile decided to open a little organic tea shop in California, and eventually, you made it big time in business!
You met the future father of your children (you had 2!) and you spent many many happy, blissful years together before you get divorced at 65 and decide to spend a year in India, getting involved in children charity there.
Atypical Path? YES! PLEASE!
If you're all about living a more conventional life, go for it too! Everyone is different and there is no such things as a ideal/normal/right way to live.
Life is NOTHING but a straight line. You don't just get to point A to point B
You rolled with the curved ball and take everyday at the time. You will make mistake. You will take shortcut. You will be happy. You will be hurt.
Nobody said it would be easy, but it's going to be WORTHED
3) Being nice is more important that being right. Think about it.
4) Don't gossip.
Don't be that kind of person.
You might as well take that time and that energy to do something usefull and more positive.
Remember : "Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people" E. Roosevelt
5) Making everyone happy is not your job
6) Choose your battles
7) An open mind, an open heart and good communication skills can solved pretty much everything and save almost every situation.
8) Don't settle for less. Never
You may be tempted to settle for a life that is not really what you had imagined/pictured but meh, you know, why not?
We all have...
That's where you have to be really, truly, drastically honnest with yourself.
Is it really the way you want to spent the rest of your life?
You don't need external advice on this. You already know what you should do.
9) Be true to yourself
Nothing is wrong with you. Nothing.
People will try to change you. The world, society, a boyfriend, a teacher, a boss..
Allowed yourself to be inspired and gently influenced but remember to alway think by yourself.
Also, if you feel like saying YES or NO to someone or to something. Do it. No reason needed.
And don't accept the pressure of "fitting in". You are an amazing, unique human being and you don't need to pretend to thinking the same things than, or to agree with, or even to do things with, others.
I've lost an incredible amount of time doing things girls my age were "supposed to"and honnestly it felt like dying inside. I hated it.
All that times i went to clubs or parties, drinking, pretending to have the time of my life while my inner voice was screaming "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?! Take that body home, put on your Pj's and start that amazing book you're dying read! Who cares if people think that you're a weirdo?"
But i had a boyfriend and friends who really had the time of their lifes and i don't wanted to act like a party pooper.
I guess i just don't have the same definition of 'having fun'
Now i know i'm free to just be me, all introverted and weird, and there is nothing wrong with that! Hell Ya!
10) Cut people some slack.
That guy cut the line just in front of you, you stumble upon the world's meanest officer at the post office, the car behind you seems to be going waaay to fast and the driver is so rude, but hey, you know what? Eveyone have a bad day from time to time and maybe it's their case (or maybe they are just assholes). Anyway! Don't botter. Breath and cut them some slack.
11) Nothing is ever personnal
A cheating boyfriend/husband, a boss who belittles you, a father who abandoned you,...
All these situations are saying longer about them than you. Their choices. It's not you. It's not.
12) Your Ego is just a stupid ignorant b****
Ego is mainly pride and pride is pure evil.
It will stop you from more things than it will serve you.
There is nothing worst than a prideful person with who is impossible to talk, to debate or even to argue with.
If you're an unapologetically prideful person who camp on her ground, try to not listen to that mean little voice in your head (better die to say i'm sorry first, better lost a leg than to call him/her first). Take a step back, breath, analyze the situation as it is and genuinely ask yourself 'Is it true?'
Taking the first step toward, or asking for an explication or to clarify something, doesn't make you weak, it makes you the biggest person.
(And i'm not talking about "i'm proud of who i am, where i come from and i'm so proud of my kids". That's obviously totally okay :)
13) Take Controle
You may not be in charge of a lot in this world (depends on who reading this, of course)
But you definitely are in charge of your life and the way you're leading it, day after day.
People tend to believe that they can't control how they feel and how they react.
You don't just have control over your body but you DO have total controle of your mind too.
You can train it, just like any muscle, to feel good, to see the good and to react with quite and peace in any giving situation.
Yes, it is as simple as that.
14) Don't be to harsh on yourself.
You're the only person you will spend your entire life with.
15) Don't compete with others
If you have to be better that someone, may that someone only be the one you were yesterday.
16) Pulling someone down won't get you higher
Criticize another girl won't get you prettier/taller/slimmer. Insulting another human being won't get you more happy/loved/respected. It doesn't work that way.
17) No Doubt
I am an over-thinker through and through but in order to quiet your mind you have to get rid of all the "fake questions" like "what if?"
You can't plan and control every little details of your week nor of your life. Accept it.
18) Let it go
As reassuring it can be to hold on tight to something you once had, sometimes, you have to let go in order to free yourself and allow you to start a brand new chapter.
19) Be bold.
Take that leap of faith.
20) Get results
"To get something you never had, you have to make something you never did"
Be less focus on the efforts you'll have to provide and more on the result you're aiming.
Exemple: If you freshly enrolled in law school and already getting a headache thinking about all these books you'll have to read and all these looong, sleepless, study nights ahead of you, focus on the long, brilliant, exciting carreer you will lead right after you get your degree.
If you want to loss some weight, don't get your attention an all the cakes you have to pass on and focus on the healthy, fit and toned body you'll have very soon!
Eyes on the price!
21) Be a dreamer
If you can dream it, you can achieve it
22) Never live in the past, but always learn from it.
23) Being rejected from something good just means you were being pointed toward something better.
24) There is no such thing as the PERFECT time to do/have something (a baby, let's say for exemple), but there is definitely a good timing to things. I believe in careful preparation and flexible planning in order to get the situation more comfortable when the time comes.
25) See and take people as they are.
Not as you want them to be. It's fair for no one.
They will show you who they are right when you meet them. The first impression is usually the right one, believe me.
26) You cannot find peace by avoiding life.
Freedom is not the absence of commitments! That's a big one for me. I've avoided real responsabilities and commitments for so long.. "What if i get stuck with it?"
You'll have to redraw that idealistic picture of life you wished/hoped/expected for something a little less perfect, sometimes annoying and overall more 'real' but just as beautiful and amazing!Don't be afraid.
27) You can do whatever you set your mind on!
Don't underestimate yourself. You're capable of anything.
I've took a boat across Thailand, I've spent 10 hours in an airport in the Emirates, i've lived in NYC ( in 3 different appartments), i've lived in Los Angeles, I've lived in Paris, and all of this, completely ALONE! Without a single soul who could help me if needed.
And everything went fine (more than fine actually, all that was AMAZING!)
I've landed big corporate jobs, i've swim with dolphins in Venezuela, i've past the belgian finance exam, i've published a book and now i'm about to be a certified life coach!
If i can, you can, i swear!
28) Love never hurts
Needing/Wanting someone is way different than to LOVE that person.
It's tricky and confusing but for you're sanity, you need to understand that love is quiet and peaceful.
In a relationship : Keep this and point n°12 in mind
You probably know that bible verses from the Corinthians 13: 4-8 : "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres"
Let's say you broke up with that guy you wanted to make your life with and you just can't stand it. You're hurt and angry and sad. Your brain (ego!) is torturing you with nasty thoughts about him meeting another girl and being happy with someone else and you're jealous and you just HATE him, her and you. It is so unfair.
Everybody is going through that, don't worry BUT you can avoid that toxic pattern by understand that in life, everything is happening for a reason (don't roll your eyes at me right now!) Seriously, think about it.
You're probably thinking : "Oh if i'm so upset about that break up, it must have been real love, otherwise i wouldn't care and it wouldn't hurt so bad!"
That guy probably wasn't the right fit for you. Do you remember all these fights? Everytime he dissapointed you? Made you sad? Didn't call back?
There is no lonelier feeling than being in the wrong relationship.
One of the most commun mistake when you're broken up with a dude is to idealize him and the relationship you had (it wasn't THAT bad, right?).
Or maybe it wasn't that, maybe it was just a bad timing between you two.. Anyway
You have to know that He wasn't your last shot at love. He wasn't you're happily ever after. He wasn't you're WHOLE life.
Maybe he was some kind of teacher. Learned your lesson. Don't get bitter.
You will be able to trust again. You will be able to hope again. You will be able to LOVE again.
The best thing you can do is gracefully let him go. Wish him luck (not ironically). Trust the univers. Trust you. Set up new goals for yourself and go for it.
Don't be afraid to trade the good for the GREAT!
29) Be grateful. humble and modest
Count your blessings every night and realize how incredibly lucky you are but don't brag about it.
Let your succes be your noise and let it speak for you.
30) People and things only have the power and the importance you give them. Not more.
As far and as often as you can
There is no better way to learn about the world, about others but mainly, about you.
32) Everything will be okay.
It has to be
May this year be an AMAZING one!