Stop

By Julie - mardi, novembre 01, 2011





Hello hello,

It is exactly 10:55am in Paris, and i'm at work.
Yes, today it's supposed to be a day off everywhere in the world (or almost everywhere) but here i am.
Sitting at my desk, daydreaming since 9am.
It is way quiter than usual and to be honest, i prefere it like that.
It's a greyish day. moody sky. cold wind.
But i guess it is an appropriate wheater for a November 1st.
Yesterday i would have been really depressed by all that little facts.
And i had prefer to sell one of my kidney than coming to work today instead of staying cozily at home
reading, drinking tea and listening some christmas song (what?)
but that was yesterday!
Today i have a new philosophy (well, not real new to say the truth but i sort of forget all about it, from time to time)
Today, i want to see things differently. focus on good things. On happy facts. On the bright side of life.
on every little details that makes life so great, after all...
Does it sound lame?

the thing is,  those last weeks where rough.
"professionally speaking" (notice the quotes, ha!)
I was really close to quite on several different occasion.
Nothing in particular happend, that's the weirdest part. I have just realised how i hate (or at least strongly dislike) what i do.
it have less to do with my current job than with the all 9-6 kind of job.
I feel frustrated, sitting here all day long while i'm dying to do a 100 things.
Some people will just say "that's how life works" and i have try.
even try hard.
I'm working for corporate company for years now and i always was able to making compomise with myself, like "okay, you're working hard for one year and then you offer your little self 3 months in New York City". And as a reasonable, responsible yet impulsive curious and adventurous person,  it works for years.
I know that we have big plans for next summer (spending 1 year in Canada) so what's different this time? Honnestly i don't know...
I just feel over it. Over compromise. Over the what you need to do.
I want to beginning do what i like to do. What i feel the need to do.
So i will getting there,  step by step.

I) I will begin by open my little e-shop on Etsy with vintage dresses that i patiently & passionately search for in every corner of Paris.

II) I will also write again. (My french writing is way much interesting and well-writen than the approximative english post you read on this blog. Sorry about that!)
I wrote a book a few years ago who's been published by a private editor.
But i really would like to improve some part of it.

III) I would also love to participate to more little art/photo/design/styling projects.

I honnestly don't know when on earth i will find the time to do all these dear to my heart projects while being away from home 9 to 10 hours a day but i will do what it takes.
Even if that means take another job who requires less time, attention and responsabilities.
We need to pay the rent and make some savings for next year, so i just can't take the leap and try to make a living doing them without a side job, at least at first.

My place is not in an office. I know that since a long time. and i just refuse to accept the fatality of "that's how life works". You're life is you're life and nobody should never forget that simple concept

So today, maybe it's that vision full of hope of the futur me who wants to focus on good things, but anyhow i'm all hers!




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