One Of Those Days

Do guys sometimes feel down whitout no reason?
Or actually cauz' a lot of small and probably insignificant reasons..

I dont know, i just don't feel really good today.
I know that i am not supposed to speak about that in here. The blogosphere is usually full of happy and beautiful people who refrains from writing when they feel down, so in a way they only keep tracks of good moments.
So i will probably regrets this post, anyway.
I need to talk..
And since little tears burn my eyes since this morning ( and i can absolutely not allow myself to cry at the office ) i have to write.

I had a night full of nightmares, then J. woke up late for work which has made him in very bad mood.
He left in less than twenty minutes and leave me sitting on the bed alone and confused.
I wanted to call someone, just to talk, then i did not know who to call and most important what to say?
You know, its awful when you feel that if you just open your mouth you will start crying. That was it.
So i manage to take a shower, leave home, put music i like in my Ipod and listen to it very loudly.
I took the bus and watch the rain. Stupid stupid rain, rain rain...
It fit my mood perfectly today.

I know all this is part of a bigger and deeper thing.
The summer is coming to an end. Summer where i had only 5 days off (in Europe that is ridiculously nothing!)
Summer where i saw my family 5 days and was not able to speak with them or barely.
Summer i spent long hours at work wishing i were some place else.
Now work has become crazy again (the summer period is officially over).
Right now i should be working hard and fast instead of writing in here.
And that's how the year ahead is going to be.. Ugh

I feel guilty for taking time to post but that's the only way to escape for a few minutes.
I need to cheer me up and it will probably happend in the next few hours,  to being completely fine by this evening..
I just need a good cry. Or not. I don't know.
It is just one for those day.

Thanks for listening/reading

Xoxo